[fiction] They Call Me Fox
Identity begins with the respect of acknowledgment.
by Emily Howell, '21
A new college semester meant new classes. For Fox, an incoming freshman, this meant a new sense of freedom to reinvent themselves and develop their own identity. Throughout their high school career, they didn’t feel that they could come out and be who they were on the inside. But over the summer, Fox had started identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns, and for the first time in their life, felt right. Like when Goldilocks found the bed that best suited her, the satisfaction was almost overwhelming.
Most of the morning went smoothly, with only one small explanation to an elderly woman, but she listened and respected Fox’s decision, and the conversation moved forward. Some professors even asked their students to give their own preferred names and pronouns, which made Fox’s job much easier. There were even a small number of other people who used the same pronouns! This made Fox feel less alienated, and that there might be a community out there for them.
However, the last class of the day was a different story.
Fox walked into a rather small classroom with many of their fellow classmates already seated. A few moments later, a tall man with dark coiffed hair walked in, carrying with him a strong air of confidence. The man said hello as he set his bag on the table at the front of the room and started setting up his things.
“I hope you all are having a good first day of the semester,” he said. “My name is Mr. Kauffman. Today, to start, I would love for you all to go around and introduce yourselves for your classmates, but also so I can take attendance.” Students began introducing themselves at one side of the room. Different people shared their hometowns and majors. Some just gave their name. Voices moved from one desk to another as everyone took a turn.
As it comes to be Fox’s turn, there are only a few other people left to talk. With a sigh, they start their introduction.
“Hi, um. My name is Fox, and I do prefer they/them pronouns, just so all of you know.” Other students nod in understanding, but Kauffman scoffs.
“Okay, well, ‘Fox’,” Kauffman air-quoted their name, “There is nobody on this list named Fox. What is your last name?”
“Oh, it’s uh, Buckland.” Anxiety starts to fill Fox’s chest, making the air feel thick in their lungs.
“Buckland, Buckland,… I see a Michelle Buckland, is that you?”
“I mean, Michelle is my birth name, but I uh don’t go by that name anymore. I prefer being called Fox, especially since I present a bit more masculine now,” Fox gestures to their bound chest and button-down shirt. “My deadname just doesn’t fit anymore.”
Other students nod again, but Kauffman lets out a big sigh.
“Listen, I appreciate you forging your own identity, but you cannot simply change your gender. That is just not how things work. I also cannot support the term ‘non-binary’ since there are only two genders; you must admit to this binary. I don’t know why your generation is so determined to be different. I’m just going to call you Michelle, she/her. Moving on. Uh, who is next?”
Fox didn’t know what to say. They feel that they cannot say anything to persuade this man. Other students sigh and start fidgeting, filling the room with an air of anxiety.
After a brief moment of silence, one of the people next to Fox raises their hand.
“Is it my turn?” asked a short-haired girl wearing a floral dress. “Okay, well hello class, hello Miss K, my name is Lizzie Marks.” Fox smiled as laughter spilled out of surrounding students.
“Lizzie is it? Well, I don’t appreciate you calling me Miss,” Kauffman replied. Lizzie snickered.
“Oh, well I’m sorry. But when I look at you, I see a woman. And it only makes sense to refer to you using your natural pronoun, which is so obviously female.”
Fox smiled but was confused, until they looked down at Lizzie's bag and noticed a transgender flag pinned beside a “she/her” button.
Another student started their introduction in a similar way, referring to Mr. Kauffman as Miss Sneezeman in an attempt to further the joke.
“Stop this!” Mr. Kauffman’s anger started to show on his face; his cheeks reddened and the corners of his mouth turned down in frustration. “This is not funny. Call me by my name or I will kick you out of my classroom.”
“Then,” Fox stands up, “call me Fox. I will call you by your preferred name if you call me by mine.”
“Fine,” Kauffman let out a small sigh, “Fox it is, I will call you Fox. If that is what it’s like for you ever, I’m sorry.”
“Science also supports the idea that there are more than two genders," Lizzie added with a wink to Fox. Genetics actually proves that there are four, but I guess that’s a conversation for another day.”
Kauffman sighs again and turns to face the board to start going over the syllabus. For the rest of the semester, Kauffman called Fox by their preferred name, however hesitantly. Fox and Lizzie also made an effort to help educate and advocate for the rest of the transgender community, so that nobody ever has to argue for their identity again, and can just be whoever they want.
RELATED: