The Destroying Stereotypes of an African American (FYW Award: First Prize, Information)
by Miriam Jean-Louis
Over the years, I have been approached with absurd comments and questions regarding my race or ethnicity. Being African American, especially a woman in predominantly white male institutions, individuals often associate common stereotypes about black women with me. My decisions to go to predominantly white institutions were solely for my education, yet during my time in school, I had also received physical and mental insecurities that made me feel inferior, even at the beginning of my elementary education. Though I was unable to identify the underlying stereotypes being made through comments and questions at such a young age, I still felt suppressed. To give some insight, it is very important to realize that the most disrespected person in America is a black woman. Black women have undergone so many experiences regarding racial discrimination, in the workplace, school, or within society in general. Black women are a marginalized population and through my upbringing, I have felt the suppressing factors of what it means to be a black female in a white-dominant society.
It began in 1st grade for me. I was one of the very few black children in my class and when I say a few, I mean 1 out of the 3. So imagine a six or seven-year-old being questioned about the protective hairstyles my hair was in? Questions regarding my single mother’s tardiness? Or the whereabouts of my father? I was only seven years old when these questions were asked of me. How can a seven-year-old answer these questions?
Most of the time stood in sudden silence because there was no way to fully understand why I was being asked such questions. I would return home to my mother’s care and tell her of the comments and questions that were asked. I remember a specific incident, where I had informed my mother of how a teacher rudely asked me to remove the beads from my hair because they were distracting. My mother never took comments like this slightly. And therefore, she did not take the beads out of my hair. She never received a note from the teacher and any emails regarding my “disrupted” beads, yet I was informing her of the comments being made by the teacher.
My mother had dropped me off at school one day and entered the small ‘holy” building with a mission. I was quite confused at the time because my mother usually goes off to work, yet she went straight to the front desk and asked for the principal, using her stern voice. I never knew what my mother discussed with the principal, yet it was years later that she shared what she had discussed the purpose of my protective style. It is important to recognize that African American women have a variety of hair textures which enable them to do different styles to keep their hair presentable and healthy. Beads were placed at the ends of my hair to secure the ends and make the style last. My mother found the comment made regarding my disruptive beads to be disrespectful for one main reason. An adult approached a child telling her that the way her hair is styled is disruptive to her and other classmates, instead of informing the parents.
At the time I was too young to understand what was going on. My mother could not explain it to me because of how sensitive I was as a child, yet when the repeated comments and concerns were being sent home my mom explained that “People don't recognize you for who you are and where you've come from.” “You are not like every other student to them”. In 4th grade, I heard those words and I was quite confused. How could I be different? I go to the same school, I learn the same things, most of us are the same age, what makes me so different?
The thought of me being so different caused me to become very timid and shy. I felt as though I was inferior to everyone surrounding me at school. I felt like any move I would make would bring a comment I did not want to hear. At the end of it all, I felt targeted and I did not completely understand why. As I got older things began to get clearer, and it became difficult to forget how “different” I was especially when the proportion of the African American students in my class had decreased. Now I was one out of two. The only female.
By the time I made it to middle school, I was not sure how I felt about myself. I was not sure if I belonged at this school any longer because incidents kept recurring. I began playing basketball at the time and an adult had asked me if I would be able to travel to games because the school did not provide transportation. I understood that my mother's work schedule made it quite difficult for her to be at my games, so I would carpool with other parents. Yet, an adult asked me, in front of other adults and children. “Where is your father?” At this moment, I did not take offense to the question because honestly, I did not have an answer. But it made me very uncomfortable that I was being approached by other adults regarding my family dynamic. This opened my eyes to what my mother had said before “You are not like every other student.”
The comment regarding my father shifted my whole perception of my school environment. Everyone had both their parents, at their games and any other event and I began to recognize it more. My single mother was raising three girls at the time and was able to make it to a few games and school events, yet it was not all of them as the other parents. I never took my mother's busy schedule against her because I understood our situation, yet no one else was willing to do the same. Instead, I was bombarded with questions and “concerns” and eventually I adapted to them.
In high school, I experienced a range of assumptions regarding my race. One that happened most of the time was me being associated as the “black angry girl”. In high school, I was very to myself and did not speak much unless I was spoken to. I was not trying to be rude or disrespectful, but through years of feeling inferior, I learned how to just be quiet. In addition to being the “black angry girl”, I was the token black girl of the basketball team. I was the only African American female by the senior year of high school and was considered good because of my skin color. Little did they know I have been working on my skills since I was in the 5th grade. It was very frustrating to not be seen as any other individual on and off the court and frankly, the adults never made me feel any better. There was an instance where my coach had pulled me over for a chit chat. I thought the conversation was going well until she asked about my family. I took the moment as my coach tried to bond with me but then things took a turn. She began to say that we were just alike because our fathers were not in the picture and we both did not have a male figure growing up. She was correct, my father had not been significantly present in my life, yet she did not even ask me in the conversation whether he was or not. The assumption that I did not have a male figure was already made, not making it just not right.
Following high school, I decided to attend a private liberal arts college in Pennsylvania. The school drew me in because of its diversity. I was both excited and nervous to attend such a new school. Students who identified as African American, Hispanic, and were a part of the multicultural program on campus were allowed to move in early. Once everyone had moved in I had recognized that a majority of the African American females and lived in the same hall. At first, I considered this as a bonus, to live with people who hopefully had similar backgrounds as me. And though I was able to establish relationships, the rest of the predominantly White campus neglected our existence as students. The relationship I made with the group of African American students had already been labeled by the rest of the campus as “The loud black freshmen”. The label made me feel as though I was never going to be anything more to anyone else on campus besides a part of this group. They had placed me, and the other African American women on campus, into a restrictive box. This impacted me because it felt as though I could not be seen as anything more than just one of the “black and loud” females. This assumption and judgment of me affected my sense of safety on campus, my willingness to participate more on campus, and especially how I viewed myself as an individual.
Currently, I am an adult, who through all my experiences has learned to address and appropriately call out when stereotypes and assumptions are driven at me. I have gained the skills to do so by utilizing the courage of my mother and the knowledge of my advisors. With their guidance, I have been able to combat people's assumptions of black females and change their perceptions. When going to get my fingerprint scanning done for employment, the man had looked at my identification card several times. He looked back at me with several confused looks. I then proceeded to tell my information, as in my address and date of birth so he can identify that I am the person on that identification card. He did not believe it was me, simply because of the way my hair was done in the photo compared to what I had looked at him at the moment. “The things you females can do with hair nowadays.” was the comment that the man had made regarding my identification card. At this moment, I was quite frustrated yet also was willing to extend some mercy. I simply stated, “Yes, since my hair is extremely coarse, it can be manipulated into different styles”. In times like this, I could have simply made a smart remark instead, causing the incident to escalate, but instead, I recognized that this is where society lacks knowledge and decided to respond accordingly.
Through my education as a social work major, I think it is severely important for individuals, no matter the workplace, to take prerequisite courses or training regarding working with diverse populations. With such information provided through these training sessions, individuals will learn to be culturally competent and sensitive when working with individuals who do not look like them. Doing so also eliminates the assumptions and stereotypes one assumes about another race. The action of educating society to be more culturally competent will help individuals, like myself, to feel more included within a white-dominant society. I was able to push through the comments and questions regarding my race, yet had moments where I felt inferior, neglected, suppressed, and put in a box. Generations to come would not have to feel these certain emotions if society learned to be more inclusive and recognize the differences in individuals’ race, ethnicity, age, and or family background. Overcoming the assumptions and stereotypes made about me is still an ongoing process yet being able to mediate and regulate how those comments affect me has helped, while also combatting the overall assumptions made about the black female, has empowered me to be proud of who I am as an African American female.