Dear Optimist, Vol. 3
Dear Optimist,
It’s been over a year since the pandemic started, and despite vaccine updates and the decrease in case numbers, a chance for another wave to reach the U.S. is really stressing me out. I am also feeling very stale, with the pandemic going on for as long as it has. How can I continue to sanely live through this uncertainty? And what can I do to change things up until we can comfortably live life more open again?
From,
Dazed and Confused
Dear DC,
I know how easy it can be to get stuck in future thinking. Where your worry is valid, you are going to stress yourself out more by only surviving and not practicing living. I think we all went into survival mode in March of last year and it’s really taking its toll on us, now more than ever. Quarantine burnout has hit its peak impact.
A friend once read to me this quote they found: “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” Ask yourself the same thing! What would make my child heart happy right now? If that means dancing to 2008 Jesse McCartney or Katy Perry like you’re listening to them for the first time, then go for it!
As much as I too hate hearing it, what’s going to happen is going to happen, and the best we can do is take care of/entertain ourselves in the ways we know best, and wait it out. You’ve been doing great, and I believe in you to keep moving forward!
Dear Optimist,
With Holidays approaching, families often try to meet, despite the still prevalent pandemic and dangers of COVID. With family members who may not necessarily see the risks of meeting in-person, what alternatives can students offer to their parents/siblings to celebrate special occasions remotely in a way that benefits everyone?
From,
Guilt Ridden
Dear GR,
It can be nerve-wracking to face those who struggle to see the risks we’ve been taking for over a year, especially when all you want them to do is understand where you’re coming from, so that you can see them sooner. The best way to make peace is to validate everyone's feelings, even though it may be difficult, and find a way to include everyone in the get together, virtual or otherwise.
Here are a couple of ideas for safer celebrations and special occasions:
1) Ask family members to gather on a Zoom call with their favorite drink to play one of their favorite games – one that is easier to play virtually, such as trivia, cards, charades, or 20 questions.
2) Find a meeting location, and request that everyone bring chairs, blankets, and snacks, and meet up outside, masked and properly distanced. Spending time with one another outdoors is a wonderful solution for the beautiful weather approaching!
If none of these are your kind of solution, one thing that may add some ease to your mental health is allowing yourself space for the guilt you may develop from doing what you feel is right for you and your situation. At the end of the day, you have to take care of you, because if there is no you, then celebrating with family is even harder!
Dear Optimist,
SSU and other colleges are planning to go back to a “new normal” for the upcoming fall semester. Along with other students and faculty, I am worried and feeling anxious about the transition back to in-person classes and how effectively I will readjust. Do you have any advice for handling this adjustment anxiety and getting back into the mindset for in-person learning, after we’ve been accustomed to being at home for so long?
From,
Adjustment Apprehension
Dear Aps,
I’m right there with you. One thing I’ve been reminding myself is that this transition is over 5 months away. And a LOT can happen in that amount of time.
Also, try to remember that any emotional response lasts about 90 seconds. There’s a startup, it peaks, and then it dissipates. Let yourself feel, then let it go. You’re still going to get your degree, life is still going to move on, and you are going to be okay.
Personally, I’ve found that if I am listening to what my body wants, I overall feel more trustworthy of myself – cliché or not. I have spent a lot of time practicing yoga with the intention of getting my body and my mind more connected.
Something else I’ve been trying is figuring out ways I can physically reintegrate safely. I think of this as a form of exposure therapy. I’ve called ahead to some of my favorite coffee shops downtown and asked if they were bustling with customers. If not, I went down! And things didn’t seem as scary. Another all-time favorite thing of mine to do is go on my daily walks. Getting myself moving for at least 30 minutes, and outside at that, has been a beautiful thing. I hope this helps!
Dear Optimist,
I know I’m supposed to stand up to hate, but it’s scary to think of the hate that will come back. Is there a safe way to do this?
From,
Socially Concerned
Dear SC,
I understand where you’re coming from. It can be daunting trying to figure out the best ways to combat someone else’s loathing and hostility. I believe that you can get through to people a lot more with calmness, rather than giving back the agitation they pose to you. There are plenty of things we can directly say in cases where someone is overstepping.
Let’s say someone is acting rude, and arrogant, and says something racially biased. You could respond by saying, “That’s not funny,” or, “What makes you say that?” Maybe you don’t know what exactly to say, so you respond with, “One second, I need to process what you just said.”
It is really easy to not say anything because sometimes when people have strong opinions that others may oppose, indirectly or directly, they want to pick fights. It’s up to each of us individually to contribute to the process of eradicating this behavior by responding in general, but by responding thoughtfully. This way, you’re giving yourself a moment to compose yourself, and are even giving the other party the space to rethink their words.
Dear Optimist,
After hitting the anniversary of the pandemic, I am feeling more burnt-out than ever. It seems like the things that helped me not burn out initially aren’t working as effectively now. It feels hard to focus on my assignments in a world like this. I haven’t been performing as a student I am proud of and I’m not sure what to do. Do you have any tips for how to combat pandemic burnout and find motivation to keep your focus on academics/career goals?
From,
Stunted Growth
Dear SG,
Our routines can become unbearably repetitive and then, over time, fizzle out. We feel zapped of energy. And once that begins, it is very easy to start believing that what we’re doing isn’t enough. Have you tried rewarding yourself for every assignment you complete? It may sound silly, but giving yourself a little treat, like a piece of hard candy, or going to Starbuck’s at the end of a long week, can act as something for you to work towards, since seeing friends and going out to events is less of an option.
Here are some tips for staying driven in the face of apathy:
1) Journaling – Write out what you’re grateful for-- about yourself, others in your life, or in general. Or get a scrap piece of paper, jot down what you felt was difficult/successful about the day, and then rip it up! Or keep it, your choice.
2) Practice talking to yourself in your mirror. Seriously! Write empowering messages on it with dry erase marker! The camaraderie we receive when surrounded by friends is currently a fairly lost source. And without that, it can sometimes feel like we don’t know ourselves. It is, and always will be, important to lift yourself up and motivate yourself to keep going for you, not for others.
3) Scheduling chill time – some of us roll with assignments, and won’t stop. I mean really won’t stop. We’ll forget when we ate last, or went outside. If it helps, literally schedule yourself “chill time” so that, no matter what, at some point in the day, you stop what you’re doing, and go outside for some fresh air. Best of luck!
This column was produced by Samantha Flaherty.